I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He shit in the fireplace
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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