I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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