I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
