it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
