I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
