New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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