I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
