I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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