Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
FUCK WHALES
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
