apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
