Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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