Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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