im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
