i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
