D3 body, D1 cock
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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