Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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