i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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