wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
