Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
