video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
