Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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