they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
