I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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