at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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