Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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