I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
