She is in my trunk
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
