i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
