You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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