I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
