Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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