You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
