I think im going to throw up on grandma
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
