I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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