I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
