when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
