I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
