what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
