I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
