Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
