dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
