it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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