Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
