VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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