I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
