My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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