For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
