Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
