At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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