I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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