I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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