im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
